Hello loyal friends and family….
It has been many days since I have written and so many things have happened I don’t even know where to begin.
Well, just a quick update on where I have been and what I have been doing. I am afraid to say that very little of it has been actual work. The holiday season is not exactly peak work-time, especially in a coffee-picking area where people are picking through the entire month of December.
Christmas I spent at the beach with friends (Adrianne and Peter…Ade is a fellow PCV and Peter is a Scottish engineer who works for an NGO here). We had a little international Christmas party with some backpackers from Wales and New Zealand, and made chicken with country gravy, mashed potatoes and my favorite dessert for Christmas dinner.
Our Christmas gifts all wrapped up...
Pete's Elton John glasses...Ade and I are great gift givers
A few short days later on my birthday a group of volunteers and I headed out to Antigua, Guatemala to celebrate our New Year’s Eve in style. The streets were filled with people as we welcomed 2012 under the yellow clock tower.
Birthday dinner in Antigua...with my special birthday hat!
Midnight!!!
The 2nd of January brought the arrival of my mother to visit! Yay! She flew into Guatemala and we spent a few days in Antigua, then headed back to El Salvador so she could spend some quality time learning how to bathe out of a bucket, sleeping in a hammock, and getting stared at by every person on the street…good times.
Local cuisine
Guatemalan women looming hand-made artisan crafts
Mom and I in front of the fountain in Juayua
Mom learning how to make tortillas
My mother flew out the 9th and the following Wednesday the 11th I was at the beach for my COS (Close Of Service) conference. That is right….I am getting ready to finish my 2-year commitment with Peace Corps.
In addition to all this good stuff happening, some bad stuff has been happening as well. Peace Corps Central America was hit by a storm of controversy as the Washington office has grown increasingly more alarmed by the violence and danger to volunteers in the countries of Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador.
The decision to pull all volunteers out of Honduras, and retain the groups of new volunteers that were supposed to be coming into Guatemala and El Salvador in the January training cycle came down from Washington in mid-December and since then there has been a flurry of rumors and speculations of what is going to happen.
For more information click here.
Right now, Peace Corps is saying the intention is NOT to close the posts in these three countries, but to do a very thoughtful and intense restructuring of the security policies, as well as, restructuring the PC posts here on the whole. In El Salvador, as I understand it, their goals are to eliminate travel on public transportation as much as possible, as a recent volunteer survey concluded that volunteers feel the least safe while traveling on buses. Whether that means moving our centralized office, placing harsher restrictions on volunteers leaving their sites, or forbidding bus travel entirely, has yet to be seen. In this current moment the future of the PC program here is unknown. At the end of the month PC El Salvador will be hosting an All-Volunteer conference to further discuss the direction they are intending to go in, and to get volunteer feedback.
So what does that mean for me? Well at our COS conference a few weeks ago we got some interesting news. They decided to move up the date for our departure by over a month. Also, they have officially closed San Salvador, the capital, to all volunteers not there on official pre-approved Peace Corps business.
So, that means by the end of February I will no longer be a Peace Corps volunteer. This day has been coming for 2 years, but all of a sudden it is coming at me at warp speed, and I feel as if I have gotten the wind knocked out of me. When I really think that the life I have lived for two years is about to change drastically, when I think about all the things I will miss, I can’t help but realize I don’t feel ready or able to tackle the task ahead of me. I have spent a lot of time eating my feelings this week (it is not a pretty site…cookies, chips, soda, and frosting right out of the jar, yikes).
As I sit and catalog my experiences I can’t even begin to explain what feelings overtake me. It is a mixture of heartbreak and happiness. It is fear and liberation. It is uncertainty and accomplishment. It is everything I have felt in the last two years rolled into one confusing blur.
All I know is that as I sit here, thinking about the letter I wrote to myself 2 years ago before this adventure began, I am realizing the adventure isn’t over. That is the beauty of life…every day is an adventure in its own way. Two years ago I wrote to myself that I hoped I would retain the things that make me who I am and learn to appreciate them even more. I wrote that I hoped I would never settle for being less than the best I could be. I wrote that I hoped this experience would change me for the better, but not so much as I would not be able to recognize myself. I wrote that I hoped I wouldn’t give up….
My final assessment is that I got exactly what I hoped for. I made it. I learned so much, but I didn’t forget too much either. I am proud of my work, and I think though the idea of what I thought I was going to do wasn’t where I ended up, but I still did the best I could. I think these two years were the some of the best years of my short life. These two years have also awakened a sense of adventure and longing to see more of the wide world out there, outside my little Nebraska world.
In short, this has been an experience of a lifetime and as the days tick away I count the hours until it will end. I have made some amazing friends, met some amazing people, and changed my life perspective in a way I will never be able to take back.
5 weeks from today I will no longer be a Peace Corps volunteer. I can’t tell you yet where the next step will take me, but I can tell you that I will never stop cherishing all the things I have learned in these two years. I can also tell you I will be crying like a baby pretty much daily for the next 5 weeks…I am still such a sap.
Congratulations! Can’t believe it’s been 2 years. Let us know if you need anything in your transition home (wherever that may be)!
Dad & Karen
Lindsey, can’t wait to see you. It has been a very fast two years. I know you will miss everyone and everything you have done in El Salvador however, we will be glad to have you home safe and sound. You have changed so many peoples lives in the past two years. They will remember you for that.
Glad to see your mom and you had a good time together. We will see you soon.
and know that we love and miss you.
Love, Aunt Lynn
Change is always hard, especially when it’s as big of a change as you will go through as you end your career in the Peace Corps. It took you a long time to adjust to a new way of life, new culture, new people, etc., and it will take a long time to readjust to living in the states. You have gained so much insight and so much knowledge into life in the two years you have been in Central America. You have grown and matured and become more in touch with the world and with reality. I know that whatever you do in the future will be awesome with all of the knowledge you have acquired over your quarter of a century of life. Life goes on and so must you. You will find your niche, and I know you will do great things with your knowledge. So cry if you must, little one, because it is only natural to feel sad at leaving a big part of you life behind to move on to different goals and dreams. I am so proud of you and all that you have become. You rock my world and my mind with joy and pride and love. You are my special first granddaughter and one of the many special lights in my life.In the end, what matters is doing what makes you happy and maintaing close ties to those you love. You have made many new friends, and it will be hard for you to leave them. They understand what life has been about for you the last two years. It’s a special tie that will always be part of your life. Please don’t be sad about moving on. Live your life to the fullest and follow your dreams. I hold you always in my heart with so much love. So go home in peace, knowing you have made a difference in peoples’ lives and they in yours. Take time to adjust and think about what your next step in life will be. .
Your Grandma said it for me. . .you are an inspiration for young and old alike. Thanks for sharing with all of us.