Hello again! It has been too long once again…
Last week was interesting…I had my one year medical check. I got a lot of poking and prodding and scraping done. But, good news and bad news, I came back healthy, however that does not explain my hair falling out or the constantly swollen intestines (living abroad is EXTREMELY fun, no?)
Despite the near panic attack in the street (I am not a big fan of the doctor and get apprehensive when I have to go) I am in good spirits. It is nice to know nothing is severely wrong with me.
I came across a quote the other day and have been pondering it for a few days:
“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”
-Lucille Ball
This made me examine some of the choices I have made in my life. It is true no one does the exact correct thing every second of every day. Every thing one does is a choice made. There is only one way to become the person you are meant to be and that is to make mistakes.
To be honest, I know I have a very strong-willed nature and am prone to making bold decisions. Sometimes these turn out to be the wrong ones, but sometimes they turn out to be right. When they are wrong I do my best to examine why it was I chose that and why it was that was not the best choice. When the decision is right I take pride in knowing that whatever it was I chose I did not hold back.
As the quote says, to hold back will leave you with a lifetime of regrets at not having tried. To do the opposite may leave you with a lifetime of regrets at all the personal scars you are left with, but a lifetime of scars is better than an unblemished lifetime that was not really lived.
So, once again I have reached a point in my service here where I am faced with the choice whether I want to get back into it and make my own excitement and re-vamp my commitment, or whether I want to ride out the rest of my time teaching English twice a week and hiding in my house. I suspect if I hid out in my house for a year I would live to regret it, so I choose to be proactive…starting today. So, off I go to a meeting, probably to get all my ideas shot down, then off I go to look for another way to make a difference that will also probably prove highly problematic and only moderately successful, but at least I will know that I did something instead of doing nothing.
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On another note, I did not mean to imply in my last post that none of you care about me or what I am doing here. Re-reading it this week I realize it sounded that way. I know that I happen to be an exception to the rule; I am well-loved and cared-for by my family even if they are far away. I was speaking in general terms the way the life of a volunteer is seen. Volunteers feed of the energy of each other and I was expressing the general sentiment among volunteers that after a while the work seems to lose the excitement it once had, both for us and for those who are following our stories. So, if it felt that way to any of you I am very sorry. There has never been a single moment that I wondered whether or not anyone cared about me.
Well, almost anything you do in life, whether it be a relationship or a new job or new adventure always starts out exciting and fun. Eventually you have to decide whether that relationship, job or whatever is a good fit for you. Whether you can live with it and be comfortable and happy after the initial excitement dies down and it becomes familiar and routine. And it takes work and dedication to make anything interesting and fun and worthwhile. It sounds like you are trying to make your life and job better by taking the bull by the horns and venturing out of your comfort zone. I continue to be so proud of you and your accomplishments, and I know you will decide what’s best for you by trying new things. Love you bunches.